Despite my current wounding, I know I’ll be okay. I am right where I need to be; in my grief, in my pain. Some days are better than others. Yesterday I ate an entire bag of Flamin’ Hot Doritos while staring blankly at a wall. Today I took a shower, so I consider that a win.
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While we are seeing a bigger emphasis on rest and self-care, I am not sure we are entirely aware of or prepared for the impacts of the last few years on mental health. The isolation and fear around COVID-19, the violent racism and xenophobia, the economic uncertainty, and the constant pushback to progress have altered individuals and society in ways that we will not fully realize for years. As Mental Health Awareness Month approaches in May, it is time that we have a conversation around the impacts that navigating the VUCA (volatile, uncertain, complex, ambiguous) world has on mental health.
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As I define it, sustainability means not depleting your available resources for the duration of your life, so that you can continue to experience life on your terms. Earth Day is about protecting the environment so that our available environmental resources will stay intact for the rest of our lives and be around for future generations. So, if we want to live a life that doesn’t burn us out, we have to learn to protect our available resources in the form of our mental, physical, and emotional well-being, and we’ve got to do it in a way that we can maintain.
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If I learned one lesson when the pandemic hit, it was that I can’t do it all. Shortly after, the more painful truth was realizing all that I had sacrificed in order to try. Boundaries, sleep, hobbies, joy, the list went on. To be the “best mom” and the “most successful,” I did everything I could to live up to the unrealistic and unsustainable expectations society places on working women, regardless of the consequences. What if I just simply stopped doing everything everywhere and navigated work life balance on my own terms?
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At The Winters Group internal meeting this week, we held an open forum to discuss how VUCA is impacting the team. There were some heartfelt emotions centering around the stress of navigating serious personal health and family issues while attending to our DEIJ work that more often than not carries significant emotional labor. We need to take our mental well-being seriously. With this new level of VUCA, it is ever more important. The team discussed some coping strategies that I offer here.
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Resilience is a myth touted to bring hope to the Black community. A myth that convinces us to remain tough. A myth that causes us to ignore the physical, psychological, and physiological impacts of racism. A myth that causes us to absolve white individuals of the harm caused by bias and systemic oppression. A myth that white individuals can hide behind, to avoid feelings of discomfort or the need to accept accountability.
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There’s something interesting about setting aside time to consciously reflect on the past year when the last two years have been full of basically nothing but time to reflect…and the future, as unforeseeable as it is, promises more of the same. Still, 2021 happened, 2022 will happen, and we must move forward. If the last two years has shown us anything, it’s that predicting even the near-term future is a fool’s errand. I’m going into 2022, then, reflecting on what I can do.
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Clearly the unrelenting COVID-19 Pandemic and all of the associated repercussions, the racial reckoning, the impact of climate change, and political polarization of epic proportions have left many of us confused, frustrated, and anxious about our future. Work will never be the same as it was before the Pandemic. We have great opportunities even in this VUCA world to develop new inclusive practices that enhance the work experience for all. It will not be easy, requiring intentionality, a willingness to radically change, and new leadership skills.
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I may have once believed that pressing on, pushing through, being resilient was the best approach to handle whatever adversities I faced. I am learning that it is not only okay but necessary for my well-being to set boundaries and not feel guilty about taking care of me. I hope you are finding your sacred practices that bring you peace and joy. Do take good care of yourself. Everyone is different, of course, but I implore you to find the self-care approaches that work for you. Here are some things that I am doing in no particular order. They are all important to me.
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I should have called in Black. It’s like calling in sick or taking a mental health day, but these are for the times when being Black in America feels too overwhelming. As Black people, we have inherited historical trauma. Slavery and Jim Crow are collective traumatic experiences. Police brutality and medical racism/experimentation are collective traumatic experiences. Red lining and mass incarceration are collective traumatic experiences. All of us may not have direct contact with every single one of these experiences, but we feel their effects, and we are threatened by them every single day.
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We are experiencing a cultural shift, y’all. Simone Biles. Naomi Osaka. Dr. Nikole Hannah-Jones. Mental health. Black Women. Boundaries. In the mainstream, we are experiencing Black women unapologetically affirm their divine right to refusal and rest, and gift us with possibility for what it means to reorient our relationship with “work.” It is all fun and solidarity, retweets and hashtags, until someone we know models radical self-love and asserts their boundaries, and we experience inconvenience as a result. It hits different…and reconciling that, in my experience, is the work—that intrapersonal reckoning.
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If you were one of the thousands of people “working” on one screen while simultaneously watching the Presidential Inauguration on another, this is for you. If you are a manager who didn’t realize you had scheduled back-to-back meetings during the Inauguration and didn’t know what to do about it, this is for you. If you are in an HR function and noticing a pattern in BIPOC employee turnover, but you don’t know what to do about it, this is for you. If you are an executive at a company where “overworking” and “long hours” keeps showing up on your engagement surveys, this is for you.
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